Open Post

[obedientdog]

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🐺 General squick/trigger list.
🐺 m/m for anything shippy.
🐺 General headcanon for Skov. If you've got different headcanon/ideas for a psl, hit me with 'em; I'm flexible.
🐺 Skov's kink list.
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Comments

[dreamforger]

[Between Skov being so insistent that it wasn't his fault, and the way that Swan did reach out and touch him, fingers curling against his shoulder and shaking him a little bit like he was trying to pull him out of his dark thoughts. And it is enough that it pulls his gaze from the wall so that he's looking up at the other boy.

At the questions, the way that Swan asks if he fucked up, Kavinsky sighs, shrugging his shoulders a little bit. He still feels like he's the one that's wrong here. But he's trying to not shut down and pull away, he's trying to be-- something. To give them a chance, to give this a chance. So he lets himself believe him when he says that he doesn't want to hurt him. Because they've always been there for him, haven't they?]

Look, I mean-- I am glad that you don't think that I'm gross. But that's not exactly something I wanna hear from my boyfriend, you know? I wanted- to think that you wanted me. That you- fuck, I dunno. That you thought I was attractive or hot or something. That sort of shit.

[He tries not to sniffle or make it outwardly obvious that he is hurt and uncomfortable, but it's hard. This is hard for him.]

I guess I sort of thought it'd be like everything else. Where I worry about this stuff like it's the end of the world, and you guys tell me that I'm okay, and that it's fine. But it's not fine. I'm just- broken.

[And he's not okay; he just feels so much. And he wants to throw something, break something, set something on fire, but the warehouse is thankfully empty, and so instead he just sort of crashes his body into Swan. Maybe it could have been aggressive if K was bigger and not skinny as hell. But as it is, he just sort of presses his face into his chest. He's not even angry, he just feels overwhelmed, like he doesn't even know how to make this better.

Could he dream them a better version of him? A copy, like he had with his father, but not fucked up like he was. He can at least acknowledge that he doesn't think Skov or Swan would want that.

But he nods in response to Skov's question about taking things too fast, turns toward him when he touches his arm. It's just a slight brush of his fingertips, but it feels soothing. He reaches out, catches Skov's wrist in his fingers, his fingertips soothing- because holding on is easier than the words. But he does manage to murmur out a quiet response:]

'M not mad. 'Specially not at you. But yeah, we can talk.

[obedientdog]

[Oh. It was better this way though, Swan thought- the being honest part, not the accidentally-hurting-Kavinsky part. Swan could be blunt and he could be a jerk- a bigger jerk than Skov- and sometimes he wasn't always sure how to be soft. His friends meant a lot to him though and he wanted to be there for them, to support them and lift them up, not drag them down and make them miserable.]

I do want you. I meant- [Did it matter what he'd meant when he'd fucked it up?] You're one of the hottest guys I know. [If Skov wasn't there he'd absolutely say 'the hottest', but-] Top two, and they're both standing right here.

[He wasn't good with apologies, so instead, when Kavinsky crashed into him, Swan wrapped his arms around him, rubbing at the back of his neck.]

Everything's going to be okay. We can do this.

[Skov made a noise of protest, not about what Swan had said or anything, but-]

Yeah. And you're not broken! If you're broken, we're all broken and that means we just need to- to be the fancy shit with the glue and the gold, you know?

[Kintsugi, he was talking about kintsugi but like fuck if he could remember the word for it.]

We can hold each other together. That's what friends are supposed to do. And boyfriends.

[It felt like a weight (most of it, at least) had been lifted off his shoulders now that he knew Kavinsky wasn't mad at him, and Skov wrapped his arms around him, too, effectively trapping K between him and Swan. With love- though Skov hadn't yet figured out that was what he was feeling.]

Also, you're super fucking hot, like- [His voice dropped a little, quieter, more serious.] When we met, I couldn't believe you were talking to me because I was like 'this guy's way out of my league'. I figured you only talked to me cause of Swan, but-

[But now look at them. Maybe their current situation was rocky, but Skov didn't know what he'd do without K and Swan.]

You're like a dream.

[dreamforger]

[Really, Kavinsky wasn't offended at the idea that Swan thought he was as hot as Skov. Really, it felt like a compliment, since K was of the opinion that Skov was cute and gorgeous, and easily desirable. And it helped, the way that he wraps his arms around him, fingers rubbing at the back of his neck. He trusted contact when he couldn't trust anything else. Maybe because he'd always had so little of it.]

Okay. I- still wanna be your boyfriend.

[Just in case that had been in doubt, in someway. He sighs as Skov wraps his arms around him, closing his eyes just for a moment. Kavinsky knew that he was in love with them, it was just too difficult to say just yet. But it felt more like love than anything else he'd ever experienced, and he couldn't imagine loving anyone more than he did with Skov and Swan. He was pretty sure that for Kavinsky this was as close as he got to loving people, at least. The best that he could manage.

He shifts a little bit so that he can twist in their arms, so that he doesn't pull away from either of them, but he can press his back to Swan's chest and face Skov, can reach up and curl his fingers in his hair. He sniffles a little, almost wants to fucking cry, because there's something about being wanted like this that almost feels impossible. The way that Skov says he's like a dream, that he thought K was out of his league.]

Sweetheart, I talked to you 'cause I thought you were gorgeous. I would've been more obvious, but you two were obviously crushing over each other. So I tried to back off, but I just-- you're my best addiction. Both of you.

[He kisses him, but it's different from earlier. It's what he'd meant to go for before- just soft and sweet, using gentle fingertips to messily brush his hair back off his face. It makes him feel a bit more like himself, a bit less like a tangled ball of emotion. He looks up at Swan with a cheeky sort of smile.]

If you're jealous, I'll kiss you too.

[He's not quite okay, but it's better, at least.]