Skov (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
obedientdog) wrote2021-05-01 09:28 pm
obedientdog) wrote2021-05-01 09:28 pm
Entry tags:
Open Post
🐺 Hit me up on plurk or via PM if you have any questions/want to run an idea by me first/what-have-you.
🐺 General squick/trigger list.
🐺 m/m for anything shippy.
🐺 General headcanon for Skov. If you've got different headcanon/ideas for a psl, hit me with 'em; I'm flexible.
🐺 Skov's kink list.
🐺 This is open to everyone who wants to thread with me!
no subject
Kavinsky was a shit choice in terms of people to trust with restraint, anyway. Kavinsky was everything but restraint.
And god, but he wanted to eat Skov alive -- at least in all the ways that were pleasurable. But there was more to this than just the sexual aspect for K, and in truth it felt a little like Skov might consume him too. Because he cares so much for this boy that's one of the only two that have ever stayed. And the more that he touched him, the more that they kissed each other breathless, it felt like something that was pulling him apart. But then maybe Kavinsky had always been looking for someone that could handle his fire and his longing, because he's always been burning.
He was intensely into Skov. Just like he was into Swan -- okay, maybe more; or maybe it just felt that way right now because Skov was the only one here and so it was impossible to think much of anyone else. Either way, K's whole body ached with how turned on he was, how much he wanted the other boy. So, yeah, he shoved him up against the warehouse door with something other than grace. But he didn't break the kiss, just bit Skov's lips as they shifted. Just so he could slide his tongue into his mouth, and then he kissed him hard, like this was something he was stealing- something worth stealing.
Kavinsky murmured into it, the sound vibrating between their mouths all pleasure and desire. His hands having shifted in the process of moving the other boy so he now had both hands under the sides of his shirt- nails lovingly scratching pink furrows into the spaces between his ribs. Kavinsky was blind to the world, blind to everything except the boy against him and how their bodies fit, how he felt and tasted and how easy it was to drown himself in him. He would absolutely ruin him if Skov let him have the chance.
He was sure Skov would give him the chance if he asked for it.]
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He whimpered against Kavinsky's mouth, fingers tightening in his hair. The scratches stung but it was the best kind of pain, the sort that had his heart rabbiting. He was swiftly starting to get hard and he wasn't sure what he wanted he just- wanted.]
K.
[He only pulled his head back long enough to murmur the shortest possible variation of Kavinsky's name he had the patience for before kissing him again. His other hand crept slowly lower- he was almost shy about it- until he could grab at Kavinsky's ass.]
no subject
He'd known that Skov had needed a place, someplace to belong, someone to belong to. Or maybe it was just that Kavinsky had wanted him since he'd first felt the way that he looked at him. Had felt that he could put a leash on his neck and that he'd like how it felt. Not that he knows how to ask about that sort of thing, but he thinks about it, sometimes. He was greedy, especially with people, but he wanted to give Skov and Swan something, to make what they gave him worth it. To make it so that he was worth it.
He wanted this to work out, because these boys mattered to him. So he doesn't want to fuck it up, he just can't help himself. He has no impulse control, especially not when it was about Skov, who was lovely and willing and felt so good against him. He carried lube with him as a habit, but he hadn't thought to move any toys into the warehouse yet. So bending Skov over and fucking his brains out was unfortunately off the table, even if the thought drifted across K's mind- even if he thought that was probably what Skov wanted.
But he could stretch him on his fingers, put him on his knees or get on his knees for him, depending on how good he was. Give him K's fingers one by one until Skov told him it was too much. Of course, knowing Skov, he had a feeling that if he actually gave him that sort of choice, he'd probably have to keep him from going too far- he was nearly as reckless as Kavinsky.
Although as charming as the idea was, and as pretty as he was sure Skov would be if he could wreck him like that, fist him on his fingers, that was probably a bit much for a first date. Although it was also hot as fuck.
K took advantage of the moment when Skov broke the kiss, using it to get the other boy's shirt off. And then they were kissing again, and fuck but he liked the way that Skov said his name. A murmur, all heated, like he was asking for something and god but Kavinsky wanted to give it to him, whatever he was capable of giving. He kissed him all the harder for it, grinning into the kiss, and he lets Skov grab his ass, tilting back into it a little in what's clearly encouragement. He wants him to touch. He lets a hand cup against the other boy's cock through the fabric of his jeans.
K was a dreamer, he was good at getting creative; just because he didn't have a dick in his pants didn't mean he couldn't find a way to take Skov to pieces. He parts from the kiss just so he can trail teeth down Skov's neck, suck a bruise into his collarbone. His mouth wet and hot, the lick of his tongue against skin, occasional nips of teeth as he works on making a messy line of them along his collarbone. They were pink and red now, but they'd bruise later, starbursts of blue and purple until they healed. He rubbed the heel of his palm against Skov's cock, so he could get a bit more pressure even through the layers of clothing as he shifts his mouth up to his neck, putting one more just below his ear.]
Fuck, you're so good, Sweetheart.
[Kavinsky wanted to write his name on his skin, but he resisted the urge. For now. This was all new, uncharted territory, after all. He was trying to take it slow. But for Kavinsky that meant somewhat slower than a wildfire.]
no subject
He moved automatically when Kavinsky pulled his shirt off, arms lifting and then dropping back to where they'd been before. Except- he skated his other hand down K's back so he could use both hands to squeeze his ass. He was almost gentle about it because he wasn't entirely sure what Kavinsky liked. He knew the rumors, stories, of course he did, but he was also smart enough to know that rumors and stories weren't always true. Kavinsky was reading him like an open book, though, but Skov had never been shy about talking about what he wanted and liked. And he didn't always have to use words; sometimes he'd show up with marks on him left by Swan and it would be obvious what he liked.
Reflexively, he pushed his hips forward into Kavinsky's hand, moaning soft but shameless. Everything was happening so fast but he wouldn't have it any other way. He wasn't good at taking things slow.
His skin felt like it was burning, Kavinsky's teeth grazing down his neck raising goosebumps along his arms. The mere idea of the hickeys thrilled him, knowing he'd be marked by this moment, however temporary. Then K praised him and Skov felt either proud or even more aroused--maybe both. Probably both.]
Please, K- I need you.
[He wasn't ashamed to beg, either. Honestly, he'd say whatever Kavinsky wanted him to if it got him something nice.
Except- except there was the sound of tires on the asphalt and Skov's eyes snapped open, relatively pale skin flushing anew. It took him approximately one second to recognize Swan's car and a second after that to lock eyes with Swan himself through the darkly tinted windshield. He couldn't read Swan's expression from this distance, so he couldn't gauge if he was upset or not, but-
Swan slid out of his car, slamming the door behind him. It didn't necessarily mean he was upset; he slammed a lot of things. In the mornings if there was a door in his way, he slammed it no matter who was still sleeping.]
Am I interrupting? Should I come back later?
[His voice dripped with venom and Skov had a distinct impression that he was, indeed, upset.]
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K knew that Swan was going to be pissed. He was possessive about Skov, and Kavinsky had left marks all over the other boy. He does remove his hand from pressing against Skov's cock- but slowly, not like he's flinching away. Not like he's ashamed. It was about control, or maybe just-- he wasn't going to pull away from Skov and leave him standing there topless and reeling. So yeah, he takes his hands and his mouth off the other boy, but there's the subtle way that he puts himself between Skov and Swan. Protective; not because he thinks that Swan will hurt him or take his anger out on him, but because he doesn't want Swan to blame Skov for this.]
Nah. Swan, c'mon, stay.
[Kavinsky takes a breath, a little twitchy as he drags a hand through his hair.]
Look, I know I fucked this up. I wanted- I was trying to say something to you both. But I got carried away and I kissed Skov and then I didn't stop kissing Skov and I know I'm an asshole.
[He does not say that he's sorry.
Kavinsky is not good at saying sorry to begin with, and there isn't a single touch that he'd take back, anyway. Admitting that he fucked this up already feels like vulnerability, but he's trying to give Swan a better target for the blame, enough that Skov and Swan can maybe still work things out if this whole wild idea of his goes to shit, crumbles to ashes in his hands. But he still-- he's not giving up, even if this was far from the way that he'd planned this going. But K was impatient, and Skov had been pretty, and his impulse control was shit. So here they were.
But maybe he has some impulse control because he does not point out that they both know Skov wouldn't stop him. It is in his eyes, though. Not that he thinks that Skov didn't want it or was just following his lead, but- there's been that tension between them since almost the beginning. Like Skov wanted K to put him on his knees, and all Kavinsky had to do was ask. And he wanted to. He still wants to. He can see Skov in a collar with a crown- he can see him with a crown branded on the inside of his wrist, too.
He doesn't think he has to say it. He thinks Swan knows where to put his anger.]
no subject
Reluctantly, he took his hands away from Kavinsky, focus bouncing between him and Swan. After a moment, he picked up his shirt but he didn't put it on.
That was right; Kavinsky had invited them here for a reason. This was their place, a place for the three of them that could potentially be a real home. It might not be anything if Swan ended up pissed at both of them, though.
Swan said-]
You fucking think?
[He wasn't surprised to hear Kavinsky say he was an asshole. Swan had always known that; he'd just decided to be friends with him anyway. Besides, he could be an asshole, too.]
So what were you trying to say?
[He knew he and Skov weren't boyfriends (you had to actually talk about dating for that to happen, didn't you?). They were fuck buddies, friends with benefits, and yet...yet Swan couldn't help but feel possessive of Skov. It hadn't started with hearing the other boy moan his name in his sleep; Swan had been attracted to him before that, since the day they'd been assigned roommates at Aglionby.
Skov acted tough, but Swan knew some of that was bravado and that Skov was actually some sort of broken. Swan wanted to hold all of his pieces together, keep him from actually falling apart.
He didn't share well, not when it came to Skov. He hadn't thought Skov wanted to be shared but- maybe he'd been wrong. Maybe Skov viewed things differently or didn't feel the same or- Swan sucked in a breath, gaze flickering briefly from Kavinsky to Skov.]
cw: slight depression thoughts / suicidality
It had just seemed easier when there wasn't this tension on the air. Kavinsky was still painfully turned on and almost vibrating with it. It made it even harder to figure out where to start, how to say what he was trying to say. So he just threw himself at it, hoped he got the sentiment across, hoped that Swan-- fuck.]
I got this place for us. You me and Skov. No neighbors or noise complaints or any of that bullshit. He uh-- Skov asked me if it was supposed to be romantic or if I was planning a murder. And- yeah, this whole thing was supposed to be romantic.. but I didn't just mean for Skov. I mean- you too. And you can just tell me to go fuck myself if you want.
[There's a brief flicker there in K's dark eyes of something like insecurity, a whisper of the broken pieces he tries not to let anyone see. He wanted them, needed them, maybe. But saying it outloud was terrifying. Because it meant giving someone the power to hurt him. But he'd already done it once, and they hadn't betrayed him. And this was just his heart, the fact that he was trans was who he was.
He didn't quite know how to spell out the words that making out with Skov, wanting Skov, didn't mean he was trying to take him away from Swan; he was sort of hoping that the other boy could put the pieces together. Or that he would at least ask him a question that was easier to answer than trying to string the words together himself. He wasn't high enough for it- but he wasn't going to walk away just to set up a line- even if he wanted to.]
I'm not saying you have to move in, or that if you don't want to fuck me you can't stay here, or whatever. I'm just-- fuck. I wanted to say it. I wanted to try and do something about it. Skov seemed to think I should have started with flowers, but this.. when we're eighteen I can put our names on it. All of us; equal partners, if you want that.
[And maybe that last part said something more than just talking about the warehouse. Because he needed Swan, but he didn't need to own him, he didn't need him to be like Skov. He just wanted- they were all sharp and troubled boys, and he wanted to give them a place that was theirs, where they could be together. He wanted a place where they could belong. A place where Kavinsky could belong, because he cared for them more than anyone else he'd ever had in his life before. His was the name that everyone whispered, beyond the pulse of traffic lights; Henrietta's Dark King- a title he enjoyed, honestly. But he didn't need to rule over his boys, he just needed them at his side, to know they were his. His knights, his hunting dogs.
He needed to believe that they wouldn't leave him.
Because this was the only way where Kavinsky could actually imagine a future, honestly. He didn't know if he could stand the world without them. But he wasn't about to put that on them, wouldn't say it outloud- he tried to keep his demons as his own, for the most part. Keep the feelings that he was running from wrapped up tight. It's just.. he honestly has little tolerance or patience for moments like these. Where all of a sudden he's waiting for an answer, for someone else to tell him where they go from here. And it always scared him when that was in someone else's hands, when he had no control over what happened. Usually it was with his parents.
But he takes a breath, and refuses to let it shake, keeps his dark eyes even as he looks at Swan with a shrug of his thin shoulders-]
I mean, it's up to you, man.
no subject
You were serious about this being romantic? I thought- [He didn't finish, ducking his head as his cheeks burned. He'd thought Kavinsky was just being Kavinsky. But the kissing made a lot more sense now. Skov's heart lurched anew.] Are you saying you want to date us?
[He'd never even asked Swan that. He probably should have. He'd never had a boyfriend though, or any kind of relationship. Not that he was interested in anyone but boys, but he'd never dated anyone, not even when he was still figuring out his sexuality and who he was interested in.
Swan, for a moment, looked bewildered. He'd been running on adrenaline and jealousy since even before he'd stepped out of his car but now that things were framed in a different light- now that things weren't...what, Skov cheating on him? They weren't dating. They hadn't made anything official; you couldn't cheat if there was nothing to cheat on. He hadn't ever considered that Kavinsky might be into him. Skov, on the other hand- he made things obvious even when he thought he didn't. It was the glances he snuck, the way he looked at K. Swan had been jealous for a while.
But now, faced with this, this...romantic thing, where Kavinsky was setting up a place for them and Skov was talking about dating. This was better than flowers; Swan wouldn't even know what to do with them. But more than that, it effectively popped his bubble of anger, leaving him unsure. He thought he'd be angry for a while- he usually was- but... Kavinsky and Skov were his friends. Neither of them had meant to hurt him. He just wasn't sure yet if he could wrap his mind around the idea of Skov and anybody that wasn't him without getting jealous all over again.
He sighed, scrubbed a hand through his pale blonde hair. A minute ago he'd felt like decking Kavinsky and now- He knew he wasn't part of the shitty family club but he also knew what Skov and K had been through. He understood wanting to have a place you could call your own where you could really be yourself.
He didn't know what to say. So he looked away, looking over the warehouse exterior, letting his gaze linger on a window or something while he tried to put words together.]
I could see the three of us here. [He said finally, looking back at Skov and Kavinsky. Skov was pale enough (especially for a boy who spent a good deal of time in the sun) that the marks Kavinsky had left on him stood out. It was enough to make that tangle of jealousy snarl up again, but Swan tried to stamp it down.]
But is it true? If this is a big romantic gesture and you want both of us, does that mean dating?
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[He idly kicked at the gravel, not out of anger, but it was- tactile, something that was easier to process, to understand. A distraction that bought him at least a moment of breathing room from actually having to address the part where Skov asked him if that meant dating them. From having to talk about the fact that he hadn't ever dated anyone. He thankfully wasn't particularly prone to blushing, even if he was pale skinned (or at least no one had ever had the guts to point it out) but it was still awkward, and K was a bit more shy about all of this than he liked to admit to.
It was like getting the air knocked out of him, except in a good way when Swan said that he could see the three of them here, though. It was something, it sounded like approval, and Kavinsky knew that he hadn't exactly started this off on the right foot, so he hadn't exactly assumed that Swan was going to want in on what K was offering.
But Swan echoes Skov's question, and he sighs, because he realizes that he can't get out of this without saying the words, without talking about it.]
I mean- yeah, if I can get it.
But I haven't dated anyone before, and I don't know if I'll be any good at it, but I want.. I want to. I want to try anyway, I guess. I just wasn't sure how you felt. Most people think I'm better for sex and drugs than anything- and they're probably not wrong. And I don't wanna fuck things up for you two, either. But I've never trusted anyone or wanted anyone like I do with the two of you. And so I just.. I thought that maybe I could try. 'Cause I give a shit, and I care, and I like both of you.
[He shrugs his thin shoulders, curls fingers at the back of his neck as he looks off to the side, back towards the warehouse for a moment. He couldn't say that he was in love with them, even if he thought that he probably was. The way he felt about Skov and Swan felt more like love was supposed to be than he'd ever felt for anyone else, at least. It was like the very idea that they might maybe want him back made the world brighter.]
I wasn't supposed to kiss anyone until after you both said yes, but I'm bad at waiting so I sorta fucked that up.
[Honestly, he really really wants to make a sex joke there. To say something about how he'll make it up to him, or that Swan can get a turn too, but he manages to resist the desire. He should get a fucking medal, or at least a gold star.]
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Hey, don't say that. You're great for plenty of things. I mean- [Wait, that hadn't exactly come out right. Or had it? He was doubting himself.] You're one of my best friends and that means I think you're pretty great.
[Draping his shirt over one shoulder, he went over to Kavinsky, wrapping his arms around his middle from behind and pressing a kiss to his cheek.]
And you haven't fucked anything up. Right?
[He glanced over at Swan, brow furrowed slightly. He might've been extremely biased because he was still ridiculously turned on- or maybe it was how strongly he felt about Kavinsky- but he didn't feel like K had fucked up anything at all.]
I'd date you- [He added, quieter.] -if Swan will.
[Swan snorted, lifting an eyebrow as he stared at Skov.]
You're gonna-
Gonna what? [Skov arched an eyebrow in return, questioning.
Swan took a breath, exhaled, and looked away. His body language didn't say he was angry- just...awkward, maybe. He wasn't a person who was easily flustered and he couldn't remember the last time he'd blushed (thank god), but he felt-
A smile tugged at the corner of his mouth and he shook his head slowly. Kavinsky wanted to date him. For real. Swan'd never had a boyfriend. A girlfriend, once, before he'd figured out he was gay, but he'd been so young then that dating had been holding hands and walking to class together and not much else. He didn't know if he'd be a shit boyfriend or not. Casual sex was easier, less frightening, and this was- his heart was pounding and his hands felt sweaty.
Which was why he made sure to scrub them dry on his jeans before walking to Skov and Kavinsky and cupping K's face in his hands. He kissed him slowly, letting it linger before he pulled back.]
Okay. You didn't fuck up, I'm just- [Swan hesitated, biting his lip.] Skov's special, you know? [Which was as close as he'd come to saying he genuinely cared about Skov- a lot.] So're you. I know this shit's not easy. [But he really appreciated that Kavinsky was willing to try and talk to them both about this and didn't just dodge the subject.] It's not easy being on this side of it either, and that's not your fault. [It was just the nature of the beast.] But I'll date you. Both of you.
[Skov's special was still repeating through Skov's head even as Swan said he'd date both of them. He smiled, bright and pleased, and tucked his face into Kavinsky's shoulder for a moment. Here he'd been worried Swan was going to punch one of them (which hurt, Skov knew from experience), and the total opposite had happened.]
no subject
But it leaves Swan as the missing piece, waiting to see what he says, and he leans back into Skov just for the comfort of it. The warmth and the contact and the proximity, and feeling like even if this is still on unsteady ground, that he isn't alone in this, at least. But then Swan smiles and even if that isn't an answer, it feels like-- well, he didn't think that the blonde would be smiling if he was about to tell K to fuck off, at least.
And then he's cupping Kavinsky's face in his hands, and that feels even better than a smile. He murmurs at the contact, helpless and eager and wanton, but he doesn't rush it as he kisses him back. He just drinks it in, kisses him like he's trying to say the things that words are too clumsy for. Like he can tell him how much this means, how much Swan means to him. It takes him a moment to catch his breath, but he tries not to let on how affected he is. Skov and Swan might be the boys that he trusts the most in the world, but vulnerability is still difficult for him, something that he's still learning to allow, how to let them in closer.]
Yeah, I know he is. [Because addressing the fact that Skov was special was easier than the fact that Swan said that K was too. But he wrapped it up and tucked it close to his heart. But then there was that answer, and this was... Fuck, he didn't know. Like a dream. Like maybe he could be awake without hating himself, hating the world.]
That'd be.. Yeah, I'd like that.
[He was flustered, affected, even if he tried to act cool about it. He smiled too, letting Skov tuck his face into his shoulder, and he just felt like-- happy, he thinks. He thinks this is probably what being happy is.
So then he grins, filthy and wicked, lifting an eyebrow as he looks at Swan. Because teasing was easier than being genuine; Kavinsky could only manage the later in temporary stretches.]
I knew you wanted to fuck me.
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Skov knew a lot of people said you were only supposed to have one partner, and growing up he'd always considered that the 'proper' way, too. But since he'd become a teenager he'd started thinking that maybe not everyone had to subscribe to that- what was it, it wasn't a rule or a law. Popular opinion? The point was, he thought he could be perfectly happy with both Swan and Kavinsky. Maybe it made him greedy, having and wanting two people, two boyfriends, but he didn't really give a shit. He wasn't hurting anyone; he was going to do what made him happy.
Speaking of happiness, he couldn't help but laugh at Kavinsky's comment. Did it make him weird that he wasn't jealous about the idea of Swan and K fucking? It'd be hot and they were into each other and- maybe Skov was just eternally horny. Alternately, he was a supportive friend. He liked thinking of it that way better.
Swan snorted again, brushing his thumbs along Kavinsky's cheeks before pulling his hands away.]
I've thought about it.
[Didn't everyone think about what it'd be like to have sex with their friends at least once? No? Maybe he should have considered it a sign sooner...]
I could ruin you.
[Though he wasn't in the mood right now.
But Skov was and there was nothing stopping him from daydreaming about Swan's dick--which was very nice, as far as dicks went, though Skov could've been biased.]
I'd rather be ruined. [Skov mumbled against Kavinsky's shoulder.]
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He grins at the way that Skov laughs when he comments about sex with Swan, flashes a smile that's all I knew it when Swan admits that he's thought about it. But the way the blonde brushes fingers against his cheek is soft in a way that feels like affection, and that makes him feel a bit more off-balance than he'd ever admit to outloud. And then he punctuates it with I could ruin you and K honestly forgets how to think straight, because he wants that, even if he buries it along with everything else that he doesn't quite trust. He laughs with a shake of his head quips back like a reflex.]
You wish.
[He's affected though, even if he plays it off. He acts like the words roll off his skin, even if it's anything but true. The only sign he really gives away is the way that he shivers, but it's slight enough that it might be hard to see. Certainly easier to feel with Skov pressed against him.
He does catch that comment, smirks a little bit playfully, turning into a grin that blossoms across his lips.]
Poor boy. I'm sure if you ask nice he'll give it to you.
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You'd be lucky to have my dick.
[Or lucky to be able to take it- Swan wasn't that big, but he was, well, proportionate. And Kavinsky had a narrow frame, like Skov. Of course, Skov handled him just fine, but Skov handled pretty much everything just fine. He never even complained- except when he wasn't getting what he wanted.
His point was, though, that somedays Swan had daydreamed about fucking Kavinsky senseless, either just because he wanted to or because K was usually running his mouth and Swan wanted to see if he could make him make better noises instead.
Though he didn't catch the shiver, Skov did. Skov only smirked though, before looking vaguely flustered.]
I didn't say I wanted Swan to ruin me. I mean, I usually do! I just-
[He didn't finish. He didn't think he had to finish, though.]
I have Swan all the time! Which is- it's fine, it's great, I'm really happy with that, there's nothing wrong with it-
[Swan lifted an eyebrow but he looked more amused than insulted. Skov, on the other hand, kept going.]
We just had a thing going before and it was really nice and I was thinking-
[Oh god, please someone shut him up before he properly embarrassed himself.]
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Maybe just the assurance that he seems like the boy he tries to be.
Kavinsky's gaze flicks to Swan first, who thankfully seems more amused than insulted by Skov's rambling. He was trying to not spark his jealousy five minutes into this odd little agreement, seeing if the three of them together could be as good as it felt they should be.]
...So, are you saying you wanna pick up where we left off?
[Not that he minds, of course. It's just-- not quite what he'd expected. If he knew how to handle this sort of stuff better, maybe he'd ask Skov what he was into, what he liked, what he wanted from him. But Kavinsky didn't really know how to have those conversations. Not yet anyway, because he does learn, later. But at the moment he just smirks a little bit, even if Skov can't see it; he can probably hear the faint amusement in the question, though.
His gaze settles on Swan, a lift of an eyebrow like an invitation.]
I dunno. There's three of us now. It seems like it'd be rude to leave someone out.
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[He looked at Kavinsky, then Swan. Okay. So maybe wanting to pick up where they left off was a little rude now that Swan was here. Technically, Swan had interrupted, but he'd also been invited here. It wasn't his fault. And Skov wasn't stupid nor did he want to hurt Swan. Leaving him out would make him jealous.
Tucking his face against the back of Kavinsky's shoulder again, Skov took a breath.]
Let me give you what you need, babe.
[Swan said, reaching out to comb his fingers through Skov's hair. He was trying not to be jealous but he also didn't want to just boot Kavinsky out of things, either. He'd never participated in a threesome; he didn't immediately know how to include a third person.
Almost shyly, Skov looked up, considering that for a moment. Yeah, okay, he'd be down for Swan fucking him, even though he really wanted Kavinsky right now. Going at it with K would probably only make Swan jealous.]
Okay. Yeah. What about-
[Good question. They both looked at Kavinsky, as if he would be able to figure it out or know the answer.]
Yeah, K. What can I do for you?
[Skov wanted to make him feel good, too.]
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He pauses, though, when they both look at him, when Skov asks him what he can do for him.
Kavinsky has never really been in a threesome, not that he was going to admit that. He'd been close enough that it didn't even feel entirely like a lie, but he'd always been a secondary participant, an enabler, maybe someone there just to hold you in the midst of it all. He always kept his pants on, though. Threesomes were always a little bit too unpredictable for him to actually just give in and enjoy the pleasure.
So he shakes his head, but it's with a smile, aiming for something like comforting, and the way that he says it is all charm. That way he has where people let him get away with far more than he deserves. Silver-tongued and slippery, and sometimes a little bit false. It was easier to pick up on when you knew who he was aside from the boy that drew in everyone, his mouth a promise for whatever you needed. He doesn't mean to try and charm them, like this is something else that he can give them, it just feels like the easiest way to glue them all together if no one has to worry about how he fits.]
You don't have to make this about me. You're the one that wanted to be ruined, remember?
[His voice is a whisper against Skov's ear, his voice as warm as a caress.]
I can help, open him up on my fingers and help slide him onto your dick?
[His words are a question aimed at Swan, but the way that he says them is meant for Skov; slippery with misdirection and trying to pull their focus away from him. He might not have his sunglasses on, but for a moment he wears them on his heart.]
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While Skov was looking at Kavinsky, starry-eyed and helplessly turned on, Swan tilted his head to the side. Swan knew all of this was pretty sudden, the three of them coming together like this, and he might have been a little jealous, but he wasn't enough of a jerk to relegate Kavinsky to the sidelines.]
He'd love that, but- [He hesitated, bit his lip.] I'm gonna be honest. I've never done something like this before. But I don't want to leave you out- I'd be a dick if I just made you watch or something.
[Skov blinked. Then blinked again. Oh right, they were talking about-]
Yeah. [He nuzzled against Kavinky's neck, affectionate.] I wanna- I dunno, I wanna do something for you, too.
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Alright, fine, fuck it: timeout.
[He looks annoyed, but it's more the sort of annoyed that suggests K talking about something (which is always gross, in his opinion), and not that he's actually upset at either of them for anything. He rolls his eyes a little, like he thinks this is dumb, but that he's going to do it anyway. But he does nuzzle back in towards Skov, a similar sort of affection in the gesture.]
I know, I know, and you guys are sweet. But uh- it doesn't work like this. You can't just ask me what I want, because we've never had sex before, and so I don't know what you're comfortable with. Like I know you guys aren't really into girls. So-- is there a point where my body gets too feminine, ways you wouldn't want to touch me? Would it kill your erection if I took my binder off? My boxers? And it's fine if there are lines, that's not my point. The point is that I don't know what's okay any more than you do.
[He punches Swan in the chest, but it's soft, affectionate more than anything, because he's too tall and just out of reach of K's ability to kiss him without displacing Skov from his shoulder.]
So even if it's real cute, you can't just just bat your eyelashes at me and ask what I want. You two can manage it because it's not complicated, and because you've done this before. So if you guys weren't so goddamn egalitarian, I could've watched and helped and we wouldn't have had to worry about it. But I guess we're having a freaking pow-wow.
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Kavinsky had a lot of good points, a lot of things that Skov had only vaguely thought about. K was just K to Skov, but he'd never seen him naked, he hadn't had to think about the facts.]
If we weren't so what?
[It wasn't really a secret that Kavinsky did better in like, pretty much every class than Skov, but he wasn't usually reminded of their intellectual differences. Except when they were studying or when Skov saw test scores. Which he usually tried not to think about.]
'm sorry.
[Skov backed off a little. He didn't go far, but he put some space between him and Kavinsky.
Swan, for his part, looked...pretty unruffled, actually. He caught Kavinsky's hand after the punch- if it could be called that- grip gentle.]
Taking off your clothes isn't going to kill my erection. What's underneath isn't gross to me. [It just didn't do anything for him, it was like looking at a meadow; it was pretty but it wasn't going to get him off. Touching, on the other hand- he wasn't sure.]
I guess a good way to work through this is to talk about what we want or like and see what everyone else is comfortable with. Since no one's a mind reader.
[He glanced over at Skov, who was still standing with his head ducked, and let go of Kavinsky's hand. Stepping over, he wrapped an arm around Skov's shoulders and pulled him in for a hug.]
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[He doesn't meet Skov's eyes, though. He feels guilty, for causing this sort of problem, for the fact that his body is wrong and he doesn't know how to get himself a better one. It does help a little to be told that Swan doesn't think that he's gross. But it's still uncomfortable, not that he wants the other boys to have to think about that. How it feels knowing that his body is fundamentally unattractive. And he gets it because he wants to just shift his skin into something better.]
I guess.
[His voice comes out a bit distant, his gaze aimed at the wall, not quite sure sure what to do with himself.
They'd both left him standing there, so they could pair off together to touch. Leaving him off to the side like a physical manifestation of the problem-- one of these things doesn't belong. He wasn't good enough, it seems almost impossible to imagine earlier when he had thought that he was.]
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[Because it wasn't like Kavinsky had done anything wrong. Skov just- he was a people pleaser, he enjoyed making others happy and when he fucked up and did the opposite- or even if he didn't fuck up- he tended to blame himself for it. He could probably blame his father for that one, but he didn't like thinking about the man as it was.]
Hey- [Swan reached over to put a hand on Kavinsky's shoulder, shaking him gently.] -don't give me that. Did I say something wrong?
[Sometimes, he didn't know when he'd put his foot in his mouth until it was too late. This was new and uncharted territory for him and he really didn't want to fuck it up.]
Tell me if I fuck up, okay? I don't want to hurt you or make you uncomfortable.
[Wiggling away from Swan, Skov pulled his shirt back on, because honestly, he felt like he shouldn't be having this kind of conversation while shirtless. Whatever exactly 'this kind of conversation' was beyond a serious one.]
Maybe we tried to take things too fast? I know- I'm the last person who should be saying something like that, but- This is something we all need to talk about.
[He reached out to touch K's arm, a slight brush of his fingertips meant as reassurance. He couldn't believe that things had gone from romantic to horny to awkward to this in the span of, what, 20 minutes?]
You're not- you're not mad at me, though?
[Skov, who sometimes lived for making people mad at him so they'd throw a punch and give him a reason to retaliate- this was vastly different. Kavinsky wasn't just anyone. He was not only one of Skov's best friends, but now his boyfriend. As of about five minutes ago, but still. Skov took this relationship status increase very seriously.]
I didn't mean to make things awkward af. And it's not your fault either! Which I guess sounds kind of like I'm blaming Swan-
[He looked over at Swan but didn't amend that with a 'but' or anything else. If it wasn't Skov's fault and it wasn't K's fault, that literally left only one person.]
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At the questions, the way that Swan asks if he fucked up, Kavinsky sighs, shrugging his shoulders a little bit. He still feels like he's the one that's wrong here. But he's trying to not shut down and pull away, he's trying to be-- something. To give them a chance, to give this a chance. So he lets himself believe him when he says that he doesn't want to hurt him. Because they've always been there for him, haven't they?]
Look, I mean-- I am glad that you don't think that I'm gross. But that's not exactly something I wanna hear from my boyfriend, you know? I wanted- to think that you wanted me. That you- fuck, I dunno. That you thought I was attractive or hot or something. That sort of shit.
[He tries not to sniffle or make it outwardly obvious that he is hurt and uncomfortable, but it's hard. This is hard for him.]
I guess I sort of thought it'd be like everything else. Where I worry about this stuff like it's the end of the world, and you guys tell me that I'm okay, and that it's fine. But it's not fine. I'm just- broken.
[And he's not okay; he just feels so much. And he wants to throw something, break something, set something on fire, but the warehouse is thankfully empty, and so instead he just sort of crashes his body into Swan. Maybe it could have been aggressive if K was bigger and not skinny as hell. But as it is, he just sort of presses his face into his chest. He's not even angry, he just feels overwhelmed, like he doesn't even know how to make this better.
Could he dream them a better version of him? A copy, like he had with his father, but not fucked up like he was. He can at least acknowledge that he doesn't think Skov or Swan would want that.
But he nods in response to Skov's question about taking things too fast, turns toward him when he touches his arm. It's just a slight brush of his fingertips, but it feels soothing. He reaches out, catches Skov's wrist in his fingers, his fingertips soothing- because holding on is easier than the words. But he does manage to murmur out a quiet response:]
'M not mad. 'Specially not at you. But yeah, we can talk.
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I do want you. I meant- [Did it matter what he'd meant when he'd fucked it up?] You're one of the hottest guys I know. [If Skov wasn't there he'd absolutely say 'the hottest', but-] Top two, and they're both standing right here.
[He wasn't good with apologies, so instead, when Kavinsky crashed into him, Swan wrapped his arms around him, rubbing at the back of his neck.]
Everything's going to be okay. We can do this.
[Skov made a noise of protest, not about what Swan had said or anything, but-]
Yeah. And you're not broken! If you're broken, we're all broken and that means we just need to- to be the fancy shit with the glue and the gold, you know?
[Kintsugi, he was talking about kintsugi but like fuck if he could remember the word for it.]
We can hold each other together. That's what friends are supposed to do. And boyfriends.
[It felt like a weight (most of it, at least) had been lifted off his shoulders now that he knew Kavinsky wasn't mad at him, and Skov wrapped his arms around him, too, effectively trapping K between him and Swan. With love- though Skov hadn't yet figured out that was what he was feeling.]
Also, you're super fucking hot, like- [His voice dropped a little, quieter, more serious.] When we met, I couldn't believe you were talking to me because I was like 'this guy's way out of my league'. I figured you only talked to me cause of Swan, but-
[But now look at them. Maybe their current situation was rocky, but Skov didn't know what he'd do without K and Swan.]
You're like a dream.
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Okay. I- still wanna be your boyfriend.
[Just in case that had been in doubt, in someway. He sighs as Skov wraps his arms around him, closing his eyes just for a moment. Kavinsky knew that he was in love with them, it was just too difficult to say just yet. But it felt more like love than anything else he'd ever experienced, and he couldn't imagine loving anyone more than he did with Skov and Swan. He was pretty sure that for Kavinsky this was as close as he got to loving people, at least. The best that he could manage.
He shifts a little bit so that he can twist in their arms, so that he doesn't pull away from either of them, but he can press his back to Swan's chest and face Skov, can reach up and curl his fingers in his hair. He sniffles a little, almost wants to fucking cry, because there's something about being wanted like this that almost feels impossible. The way that Skov says he's like a dream, that he thought K was out of his league.]
Sweetheart, I talked to you 'cause I thought you were gorgeous. I would've been more obvious, but you two were obviously crushing over each other. So I tried to back off, but I just-- you're my best addiction. Both of you.
[He kisses him, but it's different from earlier. It's what he'd meant to go for before- just soft and sweet, using gentle fingertips to messily brush his hair back off his face. It makes him feel a bit more like himself, a bit less like a tangled ball of emotion. He looks up at Swan with a cheeky sort of smile.]
If you're jealous, I'll kiss you too.
[He's not quite okay, but it's better, at least.]